(Rabi Waheed)
I’ll become a doctor. I’ll help and cure the poor patients. Majority of our innocent daughters in our society repeat these words many times a day. My little daughter ,while playing with her younger brother ,becomes a teacher, sometimes a doctor and even a mother busy in making loafs and sweeping the home . I become sad instead of being happy as I observe the bitter realities spreading around me. Whether the killing male dominated society will let her continue as a doctor, a teacher, a journalist , a novelist, a poetess and a successful woman or will confine her to the walls of house, to render household chores crushing her dreams of being something vigorous and beneficial for the society.
The dilemma our society facing today is the thought that man is to do job, support the family monetarily, and the female is to bring up the children, to take care of homes as it is exactly what our religion has defined and that the western world is facing the breakage of family structure due to the fact that both husband and wife there do jobs so no time to teach the children the moral values and importance of family relations.
I’m really sorry to utter this harsh truth that the majority of husbands in our society is snubbing the wives’ shinning brains by not letting them do the jobs in the fields they have specialized.
This job may be in form of creativity and inner expression or the job in any institution. Irony of the situation is that they first demand well educated girls, but after getting bound in wedlock they don’t allow them to do job rather there are plenty of examples of such husbands who force their wives to resign from the job. Different reasons may be there behind this attitude of theirs.
It may be that they get jealous of their life partner being independent and self reliant.They may be frightened of being their wives undaunted that would be a threat to their rule and control over their better halves.They are likely to be so called male whose ego gets hurt in accepting the status of his wife as a finance supporter.
One of the reasons may be that they have got their wives entangled in love with them while being dealt by them as a client/customer during their jobs in banks, offices, call centers etc. and now after getting married with those ladies they think themselves to be their protectors and their ego doesn’t tolerate them to have dealings with male clients that once they themselves were. This reluctance to allow them to resume their jobs in a way also shows their lack of trust in their wives.
Last but not least perhaps due to the reason that if she will be out of home , who will look after the house hold activities ,who will clean the home, wash the clothing, cut the meat and wash the dishes. In her absence a maid will have to be hired so its better to let her be a house maid rather then hiring a maid.
Its a very bitter reality in our society, I have observed, that a female who is compelled to be a useless part of society by shutting herself within the walls of house and by getting busy all the day in less productive activities like cooking and serving the family and guests, emerges as a very active, efficacious and constructive member of the society in case of her husband’s disappearance from the scene of her life whether in form of death, separation or divorce.
Such women are around me who were dealt as degraded creatures when they were with their husbands and today they are playing very dexterous roles as teachers and doctors in the society. They are not only proving their capability that had been reduced to zero at the hands of their egoistic and so-called well educated husbands, but also bringing up and supporting their children very well.
The height of negation of female’s rights is the point when a wife is asked to choose between her home or her job. Such a situation will definitely be a beggar description when a wife, having full will and capacity to prove herself by imparting her share as a working member, is asked to opt the one and quit the other.
The need of time is to educate our males to be the friends and supporters not to be the oppressors.The rubbish philosophy, working behind their attitudes, that children and homes will be ignored, their dominance will remain no more, female will be independent and will break the shackles of their slavery, must come to an end. For God’s sake change the mindset of males thinking their females inferior dependent having poor wisdom, emotionally and psychologically weak.
Stop the exploitation of females under the cover of religion that the sole duty of a female is extension of family and to take care of children. Life has become too dynamic to be competed just by men alone negating their life partners.The males should encourage their wives rather support them if they are desirous of performing their roles in society through regular jobs.
A working mother/wife has no doubt wider exposure of life and society and can be more supportive and helpful to her male in accomplishing the tasks of life than a woman who is left at home to wish for availing these opportunities of going out in the society and contributing her share.
Days must be gone when men are thought to be authoritative, superior and more wise. Both husband and wife should be free to participate in the tough game of life on equal level. There must be friendly terms between them. No one should be a feudal lord.
Husband and wife are said to be just like two wheels of a vehicle. Just imagine if one is over filled with the pressure of superiority ,ego, chauvinism and snobbery and other has lost its pressure due to suppression, negation and degradation how imbalanced and clumsy would be that vehicle. How can such an imbalanced vehicle cover the hard passage of life.
