(Talat Zahra)
The person who later became the most important part of my life, in fact, he became my life, was standing in the corridor. I passed by him noticing his attractive smile and heart touching ignorance. He recited his poem, which ultimately ended me up into an ongoing restlessness. I emptied my bookshelf, threw out all my files and searched all the diaries to find his phone number, which was given to me by one of his close friends. In a while I was on phone listening to his sweet and humble voice. I had to write a few poems to make an excuse to call him. I can never forget the first day when he was talking to me and telling me how to deal with the poetic things.
Days and nights passed by, the sun shone and the moon lightened my heart. The waters of lake cradled me in my thoughts and I started hovering over lake as white bird.
Driving back to home he attempted to hold my hand during the catharsis of my previous relationship, I boldly refused to hold his hand by dragging it quietly towards myself. I abruptly told him that I love my body and never would allow any one to touch it. Although in my heart I was having great feelings for that nicest person I ever met.
I told him that I might have feelings for you, which might not be love though. Our discussions carried on with the variety of topics extending from poetry and literature to all the fields of life, like social behaviour, spirituality, mysticism and all aspects of politics and home affairs. Thus the range was never ending.
We were comfortable in all aspects and had great respect for each other. The most amazing and amusing thing to us was that most of the time it happened that we both said the same sentence simultaneously on various matters. It was a real shock to have such a coincidence and having mutual agreement and opinion on different issues. I started realizing that there were some extraordinary forces and bindings working in our friendship. I talked to him and told that I was on the second stage from knowing each other towards intimacy but still I did not feel love for him.
”And my imagination used to run wild but I never knew that nothing’s ever as it seems to be when a dream collides with the reality.”
The full moon was blooming and leafs and the tips of grass were burning with its reflection. The water of the lake was steaming with the intolerance of intensity of moonlight. The darkness behind the moonlight was helping the fumes inside me to come out and merge into the inevitable surroundings. The flaming thoughts were nibbling my brain, what was happening to me. It was a total new experience to me but soon I reached the conclusion as he held my hand and made me sit besides him. The whole fire inside and outside at once turned into a deep cool breeze which was taking me into a new world, world of love. The youthfulness of the plants and the virginity of the waters returned and protruded inside me and we all blended into one charismatic atmosphere. He empowered me, could he change my world? It was unbelievable and unacceptable to me. But still I wanted to accommodate him with all my heart and soul. And I did.
Some of the joyous moments were besides lakeshore. Sure we were not on earth but our spirits were enjoying in the heavens. The wooden pathway was creaking under our feet while we were moving and dancing towards the lake. The rain intoxicated self-indulgence, seduction and sensuality within our body. How could I forget those enchanted moments of my life? I never knew that I could find such lively times with any person in the world, but he was the one who provided me that thrilling and pleasant captivation of time.
I always was enthusiastic about the mini diary he had with him all the time. I wanted to know his feelings, he captured in it throughout his life. Those pieces of poetry were his entire emotions and ways of viewing the world, and by which I could easily see him from inside as a person. One unforgettable night while sitting in the car, at car parking near lakeshore, he probably wanted to submit himself to me or he had read my mind. He opened his diary and asked my permission to recite his poetry to me. “What else could I wish for?” was my obvious reply. Without any exaggeration it was impossible to capture those highly ecstatic moments and imaginations we went through. The way he read his poetry always touched my heart and his impressive way of putting the feelings into words was unique. It was my long time wish to listen to him in segregation and the best of all was that it was all for me, just for me. I was fallen in love with him the same day.
And the day came when we thought that we were made for each other. The affection, association and deep understanding lead us to a place where Jesus blessed us with ecstasy, delight and joy under his support. The two circles were extending and extremely unnoticed they merge into each other. I still remember that one day he said to me that he felt as if I had touched the innermost centre of his circle. Also our circles were overlapping each other’s centres. It was the most unforgettable, contended and gratified moment for me. The love was creeping into us and fastening its roots in two bodies, mind and souls.
Where the extending blue lake was ending and raising sky was starting, no one could tell. The breathtaking scenery was affecting us in un noticing manner. We were sitting in the car, “awww! This is my favourite song” that was me telling him my choice. He then appreciated and hugged me. The music was on and so were the emotions. He calmly put his majestic thirsty lips onto mine glorious wet lips. The Urdu song “ chuu lenay dw nazuk hoontoon ko’’ was playing on CD, alluring and stimulating and arousing us with heat. We kept kissing till the song ended. It was our first ever-long kiss, the most pleasurable and erotic. The fantastic fantasy came true.
“Have you ever been to meadows?” He asked me on telephone. “I had never been to any suburbs or meadows.” I replied to him. And we were on the way to an unknown route to me. The exit from highway took us to a heaven on earth. Soon I was wandering in the two heavens, one the worldly heaven spread around me and the other deep inside my heart I possessed in his company. But he could see the reflection of both in my eyes; he moved forward and kissed my eyes charmingly.
The magic of the day was infusing miraculously into our blood. Never in my life I loved to stop on the traffic light but that fascinating day I wished from the core of my heart to get red lights on the road every time. With his loved filled heart, he announced that on each red light he would kiss me till the signal goes on. Surprisingly we got the opportunity most of the time. Nothing could deviate me from his love and I involved intensely into his love. Driving on the extremely long and narrow road in the centre of the meadow, I unfastened my belt, hugged him, kissed him and poured all my love onto him. I love his unique attractive smile every time he is happy.
The shore was extremely quiet telling the storm yet to come. We were happily moving in our life towards an unknown destination.
That one fine day, the sun rays were playing with my eyes. He provided me shadow of his face to keep that flirty sun away. I was enjoying the sun and his tricks to come to me by passing through my beloved’s hair and the edges of the face. He didn’t like it at all and put me upside down. He dragged me on the rough and pinching earth towards a nearby shadow to save me only for him. I was bruised and the blood was bubbling out of my wounds. My body and soul were hurt. Though I was with him and never went away but the misunderstanding and misconception made him angry. Distrust evolved between the souls, for me not respecting my freedom, defaming me and hurting the soul. For him madness of false betrayal and the frustration of rejection made his poor soul miserable.
He cursed the sun not to be bright again ever. The curse had its impact and was hidden behind the dark clouds. The winters became dark, gloomy and cold.
The angry ego, his ego who was then calmed after fulfilling its curses, desires and wishes, then pumped and cherished my victim soul. It took long but the two souls became one again.
The winters were still cold and dark but the bodies needed heat and warmth.
The long narrow road with the plains on one side and the beautifully arranged houses on the other side was entering into the mountainous routes. We were passing by the forest with the tall trees that were the direct connection between the merging sky and deep routed earth. The cold water streams with ducks and plucks of the trees were flowing like a dancing little girl, who was going to the play yard.
That day our destination was a big bell installed near a fall. We collectedly wanted to ring the bell, the bells of love, the sound of the bell in which all the sounds of crying and weeping mind should come to an end. The colossal bell was to suppress our pains and agony from our bleeding and teasing body.
The treacherous beauty of the place was appeasing us. Going down the stairs which were like the trachea in the chest, deep into the lungs to get fresh air, we reached the side walk of a small lake. The immediate sight of the lake with a bell installed at a side garden immaculate us from the past. We moved further ahead and the path took a turn. My mind stopped working, my body was numb and my eyes were stunted. The view in front of us didn’t allow us to breathe even. White foamy water with all its sensational force is calling the deafness of universe to keep it from falling into the river. The universe knew that the stopped water in the lake could stale and stink. The motion is for the purity and eternity. Keep moving of water is its only saviour. The water though looked falling but in fact was traveling towards its destination and so were we. We were standing on the wooden bridge right in front of the most beautiful fall and became statue with its beauty. Once more our souls were hovering over the pure water. He held me tight in his strong arms and kissed me with his pure heart.
The winters started fading away and the warmth took over. A few precious memories started weaving our life with their sumptuousness and deluxe.
The red curtains were allowing sun light to stain our bodies with pink tint. My pinkish blushed cheeks were lasts forever in his memory.
Another occasion, we used to cover ourselves always with orange blanket, which became the holder of our secrets inside. Still we sometimes can encode our every single meeting with each of the strand from the shags of the blanket.
‘‘Hey we must go far away from the city to be near too each other and to keep our relation healthy.” it was my wish to him. As he always respected my wish, he planned to watch the night sight of Niagara for a while. We left in the evening and reached there by night. To our good luck those were spring timings. And Jesus blessings did never leave us alone. The unbelievable was about to occur, the miracle of Jesus, the act of unknown power was opening all the doors of heaven to us. A dream never imagined to see, a reality that was exceptional in the thousands of years, for sure. We were the Chosen One. Thousands of people gather all the time, day and night at the famous Niagara fall to see its magnificent beauty.
We were there all alone, not even a single person could be seen in the vast stretched out skirts of the fall. We both looked at each other with an amazing and surprising manner and after realizing the fact we started laughing like hell with joy and fun. They all left us alone in that heaven where the huge river was flowing and the world’s largest fall welcoming us with the rainbow color lightening making a majestic view. The seven colours were the seven heavens we were watching in the presence of each other. The worldly beloveds were bowing in front of their One and only beloved without whom this incident could never take place. Hand in hand we were the Prince and Princess of the lost valley where fairies would have been lived.
Conquering the invincible emotions was difficult. The railing of the fall was our only support. The noisy, sprinkling and singing water doubled the joyous moments of our love we shared in the presence of our only spectator, the nature.
The reflecting water was showing us the eight path fold that we followed. We were the enlightened one.
